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I’m scared to sleep because I don’t wanna have another dream of the apocalypse/ rapture….. It really freaked me out….
im scared for my grandma…. she is in the hospital cause she had surgery but she has been going in and out of the hospital for different reasons….. im not falling apart but in not all here right no…. my chest is heavy and im really scared….
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I betray friends…
Fuck things up for other people…
Shouldn’t follow things that make me feel better than I ever feel…
Cause its all lies and tragedies…
When someone gives me attention and makes me feel good about myself, I can’t help but like it because I NEVER get that…
I never have girls lay with me, cuddle with me, want to be around me, anything… So when it happens I wanna take what I can cause I know it won’t happen again anytime soon…
If its just for 5 minutes or a few hours, ill want to enjoy every moment of it…
But I should have thought better today… I really fucked up and betrayed a good friend… And I can’t tell anyone my side of the story because no one would
1. Believe me
2. Understand
3. Care…
What matters is I fucked up… I can’t make it better or take it back…
Post with 5 notes
i dont feel good…not like sick….but i just dont feel good…. i wanna puke, cry, lay in bed, cuddle….. i dont want any of this…. a lot of shit is going on and im tired of being the one to lose things and never gain anything….. im tired of having to let people i love/care about walk all over me or else i lose them…. when is it my turn to have someone ask me, “what is it you want berto?” and actually give it to me…. when will i have someone that wont judge me on what i do and not look at me differently or feel differently about me…. im fucking hurt and scared for my life…. and its not fair for anyone to just take advantage of me…. im fucking tired of it…..
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My blue pillow isn’t helping me feel safe and secure…. I’m scared and almost in a panic…. Someone seriously help me…. Please….
The reason why I don’t get mad and explode on my “friends”, is because I’m terrified of losing any more people in my life…
im lost, cold, scared, depressed, alone, and guilty. how things became like this i will always regret, but i do wish this wasn’t happening. with the way things are now i suppose there isnt much of anything i can do but expect the worst and hope the best isnt far after the damage. she is talking to someone and it hurt… but i told her yesterday i was too… but i still dont want things to be this way :/ how can we have this history for close to 5-6 years and just throw it away like this… if you had just stayed we could have worked all this out… we were so close before you left. but its gone i guess… unless you show me or tell me otherwise… i will just see you with him and have all this pain and regret inside me.
Post with 23 notes
I was on my living room couch and then you send me a picture of my snuggie on my floor in a bed you made. Then you try to get me to watch ghost adventures on the bed with you. I’m confused and scared because I don’t wanna let you hurt me anymore than you already have tonight…
Post with 8 notes
The year may be ending but the world won’t stop turning. This year has been the most eventful year of my life. I graduated, I fell in love, got my job, made mistakes, joined bands, and trying to change for the better. I’m still confused about my situation, but its starting to get better a little. Me and my girl arnt together but I know we still love each other and we both are really trying. I believe we are both still scared about some things that make it hard to get back together, but I know we can work it out. But if we don’t end up back together… Then ill have to deal with the pain and accept our friendship… Maybe we will work something out to where we can still live with each other or something. I love living with her as much as I love her. We have our fights and differences, but we still love and care for each other. Have a happy New Years everyone :)
