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Eventually, I just push everyone away… Wither I wanted them to stay or leave they leave because of something a said or did. And when I said it did it, I Esther meant it or didn’t mean it. But it’s always my ducking fault.
Well fuck it. If I’m truly alone in this world then I’ll make myself stronger by myself. I’ll get more focus on my band and finding a job and making it on my own. And when those people come to me after they left looking for me, I’ll remind them that they didn’t stay.
I’ll admit my mistakes an faults. But I never shove yours in your face, so don’t shove mine in my face. And don’t fucking call me anything when I don’t ever insult you.
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Someone else is is putting you to sleep, while I’m laying here wishing it was me. Looking at old photos with a lump in my throat, looking for a little sign of hope. Watching a video of when we first met, in this cold and empty bed. I’m crashing and falling within my own mind, I won’t tell you any of this because you have your own life. So I’ll beat myself up for a love that will never return, and burn burn burn hoping that fate will turn…
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My mind just tears me up inside…
I guess that’s why I can’t sleep at night…
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Does anyone wanna call me and just talk to me till I sleep….or sing to me?…. No? Ok then….
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But I’m getting the feeling like I have to hide something. Or I don’t deserve to be happy. Or I need to push myself to do something. I’m just confused. I had an amazing Christmas but why am I feeling like this. It’s a never ending battle in my head.
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